Discovering the shared lessons of golf and life⛳🧬
Hello there and welcome back to another edition of "From Fairways to Pathways”. In this series we have been exploring the myriad lessons to be learnt from the golf course that can improve our daily lives. And in this final episode of the year, I wanted to reflect on the journey of 2023. This year has certainly brought an array of challenges with it - but also an abundance of joys and even the odd win for good measure!
So join me as we reflect on the peaks and valleys of 2023, exploring the highs, lows, mistakes and victories that defined our passage from Fairways to Pathways.
If you’d like to learn more about the shared lessons of golf and life, take a listen to the Positive Golf Mindset Podcast 🎙️
Learning moments: unveiling insights for improvement
There is no doubt that 2023 has been a fertile learning ground for both my business and my golf game. And I have to say that this has not been limited to just the things I have directly learnt about myself. On the contrary, the things I’ve recognised in the people I interact with have had a profound impact on the way I behave and how I see things.
A big point for me this year has been the idea of “letting go”. I completed a major step in my accreditation as a coach at the start of the year - and the concept of relinquishing control, of letting things go was a major seed of learning for me. It’s the idea that you can’t control everything - no matter how I might feel about a situation, if an individual doesn’t want to be helped, to take the necessary step, then I can’t force them. But I discovered that if I can listen, if I can pose the right questions then I trust that the right outcome will emerge for the people I’m working with and supporting. And I think about this everyday - I can’t control the bad traffic on my way to an appointment, I realised that I needed to let go of this “fake” control over the situation. What control do we think we have in these scenarios? I believe it’s fake and I believe that the more people cling to this feeling of control, the more stressed they become. The same is true if I hit a bad shot on the golf course, after I’ve impacted the ball I can’t control it - so the journey of self-awareness, the journey of letting go of trying to control an outcome has been really nourishing for me and has had a positive, calming impact throughout my life.
I have tried to deploy more of a coaching mindset when it comes to raising my children too. Now of course they’re children so yes, they have to do as they’re told, but I find if I have the energy (and trust me it does take energy) to pose different questions, they engage with this far better than if I just bark orders at them. So I have eventually learnt over years of directing and telling my children, that actually, if I can muster up the energy to breathe and ask questions about the situation, I get through to them so much quicker, engaging their brain so that they understand why they are doing certain things at certain times - like, making their beds, or brushing their teeth without fail, or even why Haribo’s aren’t a good substitute for a bowl of weetabix in the morning!
I’ve also learnt that if you don’t set goals in the right way, breaking them down into a manageable and measurable process of improvement, you’re unlikely to achieve what you want. Back in January I set my sights on 2 golf targets - lowering my handicap and winning a trophy - or getting my name on the wall of the clubhouse. I thought about how I would get there which highlighted a couple of vital areas of improvement namely my short game and my mindset and then I developed a measurable process of practice and training to make this happen. I’ll tell you how I got on in the next sections but without these specific process goals I would have found it much harder to achieve a specific target.
I would encourage and challenge you to reflect on your own year and as always I would love to hear about your own areas of learning and what kind of impact they have had on your life.
Overcoming challenges: triumphs in the face of adversity
At the beginning of the year, I would have said that my biggest challenge would be finding enough time to practise. I seemed to find this a tricky thing to navigate, but why? I found that at the core of many of my personal challenges was this issue with time. If this was a work project I would find time for it. I would plan and prepare for it. I would give myself space to research, to analyse and to create. I would be busy, yes, but somehow I would find the necessary time to do a good job. So why was I struggling to find time for golf practise? Well it came down to simply not assigning enough importance to the task. There are consequences for not working hard enough or not picking up children from school or not turning up to a meeting, so I needed to assign more importance to my golf if that was really what I wanted. I began by breaking down my weaknesses and getting an understanding of where I could get the most gains from my time. For me it was the short game - chipping and putting was where I wanted to improve and this was the area I felt would give me the biggest gains.
So I knew what to improve and now to tackle the time factor. Running my own business, being a husband and a Dad will syphon up a lot of that time in what I call non-negotiables. So I needed to get a better understanding of this landscape and that is where I started. I broke down my week and I looked at the non-negotiables - school pick ups, work commitments, family gatherings and trips - now let’s see what’s left. I found to my amazement that there was a bit that hadn’t been earmarked and that I wasn’t using. I found an hour here and an hour there, I also found I could practise putting (rhythm specifically) at home on the carpet. I also committed to arriving 30 minutes before normal for a round and spending that time heating up the putter and working on distance control, square face and commitment. So before I knew it, I had:
a couple of hours for chipping per week
5 minutes every-day putting in my house
30 minutes before each round.
On paper this may not sound like much but it was a lot more than I was doing without a plan and truthfully my game has improved. I’m not perfect by any means, but now I enjoy the short game so much more, I look to make shots rather than living in fear of them or just hoping they drop. I have techniques to break down stress or anxiety. I know what a good shot feels like so I’m becoming less mechanical and more feel based.
And amongst all this, a really lovely thing is hearing other people and fellow playing partners comment on the improvement they can see - that’s when you know the effort is paying off.
Celebrating wins: the victories that echo beyond the greens
I’m an absolute advocate of celebrating wins, big and small and hey if that means we can have a drink or 2 after then happy days! At work and certainly in my own business, we encourage our teams to celebrate wins, to make sure we take a moment to acknowledge a job well done. Of course we sometimes need a reminder, we can all get caught in a cycle of work and it’s really valuable to pause a moment and take in your surroundings.
So what do I have to celebrate? Well I have grown my business, increased my client pool, given myself time and space to improve my golf game, gained further accreditation in coaching, built a website, created the Positive Golf Mindset podcast you can listen to here and most importantly I have enjoyed every moment. So I try to make a point of celebrating, to feel good about the journey and to look back and around, just as much as I look toward the future.
I encourage my playing partners to celebrate their wins including their good shots - and for some people this takes a little more time and effort than others, but persevere, trying to help people break out of a mould of negativity is something that gives me a great deal of joy.
My golf year, like many of us, has seen its fair share of ups and downs, but I’m very happy to say that the trajectory in general has been positive. From the top down, I won 4 competitions including a trophy at my club, got my name on the clubhouse wall and my handicap down to 8.8 - now if I’m being picky, my target was 8, but I’m still very happy. How did I do it? Simply focus and practice on the areas of most value - putting and chipping. On par 5’s putting and chipping count for around 60%, on par 4’s it’s around 50% and on par 3’s it’s 66% - I knew if I could improve the short game it would have a massive impact on my scores. And it has - but not only that I’m looking forward to walking on the green now. I’m enjoying the challenge of a tricky chip rather than dreading it. And if I don’t make the shots, I’m being far less hard on myself because I have the faith that another opportunity is around the corner.
This process of improvement began by thinking about what I wanted - my Goals. Thinking about how to measure success - Performance Targets. And implementing a process of practice and improvement - Process Goals. All of which I can help you to do in my FREE Goal Setting Workbook link here 📖
In the context of golf, celebrating wins might mean acknowledging a personal best score, mastering a challenging aspect of the game, or simply enjoying a great round with friends. The act of celebration contributes to the holistic well-being of us and it reinforces a positive and resilient mindset. Remember, golf is a journey, not a destination. Each swing, each hole, is an opportunity for growth and for joy.
Thank you so much for joining me on this journey over the last 12 months, I’ll be taking a short break over Christmas and the new year to drink and eat merrily, recharge the batteries and then I’ll be back in early 2024 so keep an eye out on my social media.
If you’ve enjoyed this series of articles, or have listened to my podcast, then thank you. I’m very grateful for your support.
Contact me for your FREE mini session Book your mini session here👈 Let’s spend some time understanding and breaking down your own barriers, the things that are getting in the way of achieving your goals. I’ll hold you accountable for your own development and support you on your journey.
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